plenty to see and hear and feel yet

a love that’s more than love. 

I’m looking for local Celebrate Recovery groups, but I’m not even sure of which group I need to join first. Codependency, drug/alcohol, past abusive relationships (emotionally) … but I need to grow up, and I should probably stop putting that off. It’s time to glorify God better like I set out to do in the first place. Words of encouragement and/or advice are always welcomed. 

“It seems to me if you add music (and books, probably, and films, and plays, and anything that makes you feel) at the center of your being, then you can’t afford to sort out your love life, start to think of it as the finished product. You’ve got to pick at it, keep it alive and in turmoil, you’ve got to pick at it and unravel it until it all comes apart and you’re compelled to start all over again. Maybe we live life at too high a pitch, those of us who absorb emotional things all day, and as a consequence we can never feel merely content: we have to be unhappy, or ecstatically, head-over-heels happy, and those states are difficult to achieve within a stable, solid relationship.” 

If I were any more excited for life I would burst. 

1) lead kayaking trips this summer? OKAY.  GO on kayaking trips sounds better. then booze can be involved he he

2) love the job I already have. staying here foreevvverrr. (I wish. probably till the end of the year though.) LOVE these kids. love love love them. 

3) probably going to get hired at the record shop, too. (random, I know. I just went in there today and luckily made them fall in love with me somehow.) GOT hired at the record store. (even though he told me he was rethinking his decision after I admitted I was a dave fan HAHA). LIVING THE DREAM. 

4) just found out about the lifestyle of a diplomat. probably going to do that forever and be a missionary on the side (that’s probably not allowed at all.) and live in a new country every 2-3 years. 

5) pittsburgh ballet theatre is also hiring. and also offer adult ballet classes. time to fulfill my life dream.

6) it’s warm and I just bought the new shins cd and the civil wars. time to start running. and drinking beer on the lit-up porch.

7) clyde (my new car) is so excited for upcoming adventures this summer. 5 dave concerts, margot, the shins, what else? white water rafting. and it’s time to buy a kayak to strap to the top. 

8) I love amanda and wendy more than life itself. I can’t FREAKING believe they’re here. and I’m seeing them BOTH tomorrow. 

9) hunger games midnight premiere with chan. and my wonderful friends taking my sister with them to see it again while I have to work. such great friends. such great baby sister.

10) bible college in argentina? I’m down. 

11) God loves me, no stress, great fam, bad but cute dog, the bestest friends anyone could ask for, sexy weather kisses, sexy weather = HAPPY AS A CLAM. 

which, for all of those who question me when I say this, can be explained here:

http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/as-happy-as-a-clam.html

and, because this is the weirdest thing ever, look at it:

http://life.time.com/curiosities/cynthia-world-famous-mannequin/#1

today is that day. 

but today is the day that I stop “coasting” around my homeland through this temporary happiness full of stability and no stress, and start figuring out what great, new, big adventure I’d like to go on next. I know now that if I had gone to colorado, I wouldn’t be in the same position to plan greater things … or let bigger things come into my life. things that protect my heart and my independence. plans that free instead of cage.  

God has a funny way of letting you fall violently beyond your breaking point, only to pull you back up as a sum of stronger pieces. 

http://flavorwire.com/254434/the-20-most-beautiful-bookstores-in-the-world?all=1